Forgiveness

Joanne came with a heavy heart and eyes streaming with tears... she had heard that the Rachel's Vineyard Retreat would be able to help her find some peace and comfort after years of grief and shame. Three years before, Joanne had been forced to abort her baby. She had felt trapped and unable to stand up to the pressure from her husband: "This is not a good time... I'm studying... we can have a baby later later... there's plenty of time." But now, here she was, three years later - and still no baby.

The retreat began gently with a meditation and ritual based on today's Gospel passage (John 8:1 -11). The woman in the story was filled with fear, shame and grief, just like Joanne. But the Joanne also heard the words that Jesus spoke to that woman: "I do not condemn you". She then went on to reveal to the group that in the three years since her abortion, in an attempt to deaden the pain she was feeling, she had smoked marijuana constantly. She was "stoned" by her own hand! Hearing those beautiful. gentle words of Jesus helped Joanne start to take the first steps along her healing journey back to wholeness.

During the retreat, participants are invited to write a letter to their aborted baby. In her letter, Joanne wrote:

'When I found out you were inside me, I already knew - we had been loving each other and I felt you tugging my womb and my breasts. I was honoured to be your mummy, but I was so scared. I felt alone and worried and I did a terrible thing to you. Your daddy and I were fighting a lot and we were very poor. I never wanted you to experience the hurt I did growing up poor.

I have named you Gabriel. It means "In God is my strength". God wasn't my strength when you werre in my belly - I had turned from the world. I should have just stayed loving and trusting you. My life fell apart after you left it. I couldn't face a life without you and felt so bad for hurting you and taking your life. But Gabriel, I have returned to God now and hope that you are loved in His hands.

I want you to know that although you life was so short, you did matter. You have had a profound impact on me and you have become my greatest Teacher. I will tell your story my darling. I'll take God's guidance to direct me in this and I pray that you may forgive me and watch over all my endeavours in your name.'

An interesting story. It got me thinking about forgiveness, and what it actually means to us. Oscar Romero tells us that God wants to forgive us, yet Joanne highlights the underlying problem for us; We have to forgive ourselves of our sin before we can let God forgive us as well. The reasoning of this is simple. It is clear from sources to numerous to mention that God is all to willing to forgive us, but this is a unsettling notion for many.

Humans don't often like to think about our failings. Death - the reminder of our ultimate fallibility - scares us. We don't like it when people correct us in front of those who we are seeking respect or admiration, and we become uneasy and embarrassed when we screw up. Humans like to think they are perfect, if not then close to it. To a certain degree, we can ignore the downsides of life.

But we cannot ignore God's calling. God's constant reminder of that ultimate forgiveness causes some to fall far from the path. Shamed by their mistake, God's willingness to forgive only drives them farther away. I'm not saying we should be comfortable with our sins, but we should recognise our shortcomings and be prepared to live with, and learn from, them. It was only after Joanne was prepared to go to a retreat and face her shortcomings that she could forgive herself and let God back into her life.

The Penitential Rite highlights this need to face our defeats to temptation. As is said in the Confitior, "I confess to Almighty God, and to you my brothers and sisters; That I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts, in my words, in what I have done, and what I have failed to do". It is then that we can face God, let him into our hearts, and be filled with the Holy Spirit's wisdom and love.

'I would like to say, as a brother,
to all those friends whose consciences are uneasy
because they have sinned against God and neighbour;
You cannot be happy that way;
the God of love is calling you.
He wants to forgive you,
He wants to save you.'

Oscar Romero (1917 - 1980)

We swear by the Southern Cross to stand truly by each other and fight to defend our rights and liberties

Now that is a national flag. Oh, if only we were a republic, and could remove the obscene Union Jack from our colours. The title of this post is the oath sworn by the diggers at Bakery Hill to the Eureka Flag when it was first flown on the 28th of November 1854. The Eureka Stockade stands for many things to many different people - independent free enterprise, labour against a ruling class, and republicanism, but it is undeniable that it stands for Democracy. In fact, the first resolution passed by the Ballarat Reform League (creators of the flag) was "that it is the inalienable right of every citizen to have a voice in making the laws he is called on to obey, that taxation without representation is tyranny".

God I love that flag. I gladly salute it.

The Best Entry Ever

I have pizza. Its awesome. I start my uni days tomorrow. Something funny. Crude but affectionate send off.

Gotta swim, gotta float
God I wish I had a boat,
not to mention a licence
and an ability to talk gooder.
You know, a sense of timing wouldn't be bad
I can't rhyme and it makes me sad.
At least I know where I stand;
I'm the nice guy in the band.
Hey look I learned to rhyme
Much better then drinking slime.
Now I think I have to go
Cause ya mum's a crazy ho.

A seven day absence has been in order so that I may complete some gastronomical tests. The results of which are below:
1 - Frozen Supermarket Burgers, especially those with bacon, are not good for you at all, especially when washed down with frozen chicken nuggets and dim sims. Your intestines will hate you, and you will die.
2 - While Frozen Supermarket Burgers are cheap, McDonalds, it turns out, is cheaper.
3 - This does not make McDonalds good.
4 - Splitting 2 Big Macs, 2 cheeseburgers, 4 lots of fries, mcnuggets and chips between you and a friend, while being good value, will not only make your intestines hate you, but your stomach will go on strike. Be thankful if your liver doesn't up and leave and your kidneys don't rupture.
5 - All this will make your girlfriend sick.
6 - The fact she doesn't leave means something special.
7 - This is not an excuse to eat more McDonalds, tempting though it is.
8 - Jesus, Buddha, Moses, and Mohammed all hate McDonalds.
9 - It still beats health food.....



.... sometimes.

:p

After careful thought I decided not to hermatise myself and document how long I could stay in this house. Its a plainly stupid idea. Not like a website dedicated to watching grass grow or watching paint dry. Nope, nothing as bad as that.

It occurs to me that not enough people are willing to approach reality differently. Doing something that one would not normally do is quite liberating, otherwise whats the point of a nude beach apart from fans of Lady Godiva? So do something different. Go nuts. I can't tell you what because its all in the mind as to what's crazy and zainy and what's not. All I ask for those who do this is to at some point say a quiet pray of peace to your preffered deity. Peace = love = understanding. What more do we need?

p.s: Silly Bryan putting comment moderation on. Fixed now. Humans are fallible!

p.p.s: I'll stop listening to the Clash when I stop thinking I can change the world.

:)

Sex

Teenagers whose iPods are full of sexual lyrics start having sex sooner then those who prefer other songs, a study has found.

Whether it's hip-hop, rap, pop or rock, much of popular music aimed at teenagers contains sexual overtones. Its influence on their behavior appears to depend on how the sex is portrayed, researchers say.

Songs depicting men as "sex-driven studs", women as sex objects and explicit references to sex acts are more likely to trigger early sexual behavior than those where sexual references are more veiled and relationships appear more committed, the study found.

Teenagers who said they listened to lots of music with degrading sexual messages were almost twice as likely to start having intercourse or participate in other sexual activities within the following two years as were teenagers who listened to little or no sexually degrading music.

among heavy listeners, 51 percent started having sex within two years of the start of the survey, versus 29 percent of those who said they listened to little or no sexually degrading music. Exposure to a lot of sexually degrading music "gives them a specific message about sex", said the lead author, Steven Martino, a researcher for Rand Corporation in Pittsburgh. "Boys learn they should be relentless in the pursuit of women and girls learn to view themselves as sex objects", he said. "We think this really lowers kid's inhibitions and makes them less thoughtful about sexual decisions."

The study was based on telephone interviews with 1461 participants aged 12 to 17. Most participants were virgins when first questioned in 2001. Further interviews were conducted in 2002 and 2004 to see if music had influenced their behavior.

The study appears in the August issue of Pediatrics.
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The above was published by Australian Associated Press today and I unfortunately cannot say these results are surprising. Time and again I have been told by people 5 years or more my junior that sex is trendy, doesn't hurt anyone and is just a barrel of fun. It's the grown up thing to do, so that makes it cool to do it, talk about it and show as much promiscuity as possible.

Bull-fucking-shit.

Sex is meaningless without a relationship, and unless that relationship means something to you more then getting your rocks off then sex (as far as I think) is off the menu. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but the act of going with someone for the purpose of self-pleasure is extremely selfish.

I was at the pub two weeks ago with my good buddy. He told me that all these people here were out for their own enjoyment, looking to pleasure themselves and have fun. Nothing wrong with that at all. But sex is one of those human things that will mess with your emotions. Hindsight is the only way to be sure you are thinking with your head not your genitals, and if you don't know which is which and you just happen to be in a relationship then I can tell you now there is going to be trouble along the way.

Want to avoid that confusion? Sex comes after love. Don't use it to kid yourself and don't use it as a substitute for romance. It will only end in tears. I'm not trying to be condescending or lecturing, but what ever happened to that idea of putting an old head on young shoulders?